Nobody is judging your workout
Note: Ordinarily I try to write about exercise in general, not specific to CrossFit. This post is specific to what I have experienced in the many CrossFit gyms I have worked out in. Unfortunately it does not apply to regular gyms where people might film others doing their workouts in order to denigrate and demean them…that’s abhorrent.
One of my favorite things to do is travel, because it allows me the opportunity to drop in and workout at other gyms; however, it never fails that I get that pit in my stomach about working out at a new place for the first time–even though I have been doing CrossFit for a decade at this point. That pit in the stomach is caused by this thought, “what if I make an ass out of myself? Everybody will be laughing at me!”
That feeling teleports me back 10 years to Tribal CrossFit where I first started. I had the same feeling then. I remember that feeling that if I did something incorrectly, I’d go down in the history of the gym as that uncoordinated dork who snatched with ugly form that one time.
I then think of that time doing bar-over-burpees, and I’d look over and there’s Armando. Flying through his reps.
“How is it possible to be that fast? How is he falling faster than the speed of gravity? Surely he must be laughing at my pathetic burpee-step-overs?”
No. Armando doesn’t care. Armando is in his own pain cave. Armando is in the 7th Circle of Hell right now and his biggest focus is on the number of minutes and seconds he has left in this AMRAP. Armando, in that moment doesn’t even know you exist.
“I’m so pathetic that Armando doesn’t even care that I exist?”
No, but that’s not a reflection of you. Likewise, if there was a nuclear war occurring directly outside of the gym, Armando wouldn’t notice that either. As nuclear winter kicked in, Armando would just be relieved that somebody finally turned on the air conditioner.
“Well, he’ll certainly laugh at how slow I was going when the workout ends”
Wrong. Armando is thinking about how he could have done his burpees faster. He’s wondering how So-and-so could still get so many more reps than he could.
Okay, so if Armando isn’t judging you, then surely the coach must be judging you. In a way, yes. But primarily to preserve your safety. If you’re doing bar over burpees and you keep clipping your toes on the bar and are at risk of wiping out, the coach will come over and tell you to jump more deliberately, or do step-overs. Even if you’re not at risk, the coach can give you pointers to become more efficient. “Keep your hips low”. The coach is simply judging the safety and efficiency of your reps over what they should and could be.
What the coach is not doing is drawing any sort of moral judgments about you. St. Peter at the pearly gates is not going to deny you entry into heaven for ugly reps.
“It says here that you were actively involved in fundraising for charities. Good… You regularly served at soup kitchens to help the needy. Very good…and what do we have here? You didn’t get full extension on your snatches? That’s bad…And you came up on your toes doing wall balls? Unacceptable. I’m sorry, but you must serve your eternity in Hell for these sins against humanity. And may God have mercy on your soul.”
And the coach is certainly not laughing at you.
So, if it’s not coming from the other athletes and it’s not coming from the coaches, where’s all this judgment coming from? The answer to that question lies internally.
You’re measuring yourself against others, not yourself in your current circumstances. The others that you’re comparing yourself to may have been doing CrossFit for years to get this point, and they were probably in the same situation as you when they started.
Or, worse, maybe you’re comparing yourself to yourself a few years ago. You know, back when you were younger and more fit. Maybe you had a child and weren’t able to make it to the gym since then. Maybe you got that dream career and have been dedicating your time to that and your fitness game has slacked.
It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. You’re doing the right thing right now. This is just where you’re at, at this moment. It’s no use comparing yourself to anybody else, past, present, or future.
In five years, when you’ve been doing CrossFit regularly and you look back on this moment, how will you feel? Will you still be embarrassed or will you look back and think of how far you’ve come?
Almost everybody that I know, we look back at those moments nostalgically and admire that things that used to be personal records (PRs) are just something we regularly do for reps. In fact, we look back at the rapid progress we made in the early stages and wish we could maintain that rate of progress indefinitely.
The takeaway is this: don’t feel like anybody is judging you. They’re not. They’re too busy focusing on themselves. The only person making judgments about you is you, and you don’t need to judge yourself harshly for doing the right thing.
